In The Scary World I Found It

In The Scary World I Found It

In the Scary World

where no one is allowed to touch

in My Time of Great Heartbreak

many strangers

with their foreign arms

and scents

and voices

and secrets

held me 

to keep the glue intact. 


Laying face down

in the center of

Busy City

at 4PM on a Tuesday

a man without a home

gave me one in his arms

and told me

he understands

even though I don’t

understand him.


Intake at The Hospital

made it clear:

We Are Not To Touch

“The broken cannot fix

the broken”

and yet

somehow I found exception:

secret hugs in the corner

and outside the bathroom

and on the steps

and in the street

on her last day

before she flew to Rio.


At the YMCA is where I found

My Only Peace

in the water

cloudy as my mind

no one can see me

crying down here

but she heard me in the bathroom

and she asked me to come out

and she didn’t look like

what I thought she would

but she held me in my undies

and caressed chlorine damaged hair. 


The Day I Wet The Bed

I used my hands and knees

to get me to the hallway

to get me to the store

for quarters for the wash

but she stopped me

and lifted me from my armpits

and kissed my blistered lips

and put 10 quarters into my 

clenched, piss-soaked fist. 


Through a speaker in my hand

men and women

nameless and Far Away

sat at desks

with headsets and 

told me to breathe

or wash

or stand

or cry harder

or listen

“I used to live in Boston

isn’t The Charles beautiful

from the bridge?

I was 21

and I was alone

and I was Without Love

and I was OK

I was OK, Maggie — 

and it would be a long time

until I found Love

but then I found it

Oh Boy Did I Find It.” 

Manic Perception and Portrait Dysmorphic

Manic Perception and Portrait Dysmorphic