USP - Day 27

USP - Day 27

Spring Transitional

Breathing in so hard it stings the back of my throat reminds me of soccer practice

T-shirts at night and

'it's only 7 o'clock?'

This warm weather gives me goose bumps

it calls back childhood

In all the wrong ways:

the restlessness

The feeling of being in a body that does not belong to you

Noticing your stomach

car sickness

Am I young or am I old?

How is it that I feel burdened with wisdom and handicapped by ignorance?

My body feels new but worn

And it's not the one i wanted

And it doesn't work the way I want it to

And I sprained my ankle and no one will help me with my books

I get my heels dirty in the park and pick soil from under my fingernails

and know that I'm not cool enough for them or you or who I wanna be and I just wish someone would bully me already so I could justify feeling so bullied

Cause I don't know anything except that I'm happy-sad for no reason 

Is it because everyone is falling in love?

Did I forget what love feels like or have I never felt love at all?

I'm mad at my sister and I don't feel cute

And I'm living like you're supposed to so why do I feel unfulfilled?

I knock on the door of 12 year old me. 

Spring blooms all around and California sprouts orange poppies that my old friends and ex-lovers flock to for new profile pictures.

I hug me. I borrow her shirt. I put some lipstick on her small mouth and say

"Hey kid. It's gonna get better and it's gonna get worse."

But at least I've got you

USP -Day 28

USP -Day 28

USP - Day 26

USP - Day 26